Tag Archives: laugh

The Way I Remember You

This, I write to my first muse, whom I lost to Life’s conundrum.

Without you

Your smile, the toothy grin
I told you you could light up the whole town, remember?
You laughed, and asked me how that was possible.
I wished I could tell you. I wished you could see.

And now your smile haunts me
I see you in my dreams once in a while
Waking up from it makes me morose
Why did I let you go? Oh, I know.

~~

Your laugh, contagious
I always laughed with you, remember?
And you would ask me what was so funny about it.
I wished I could tell you. You gave me the goosebumps

And now your laugh makes me breathless.
Breathless, with guilt.
I hear your laugh once in a while
Was I the one who made it stop? Oh, I know.

~~

Your eyes shine, did I tell you that?
When you looked at me, your eyes shine.
And I would ask you why you were happy
You would shake your head, and I would ignore the shining of your eyes

And now I try to find that shine in strangers’ eyes.
They leave me cold, unwanted. 
I wish I could see the shine of your eyes, once in a while.
Did I steal the light of your eyes? Oh, I know.

~~

Your unkempt hair was funny, did I tell you that?
When we ruffled it, you would slap our hands away
You wore a grimace, and not talk to us for a whole five minutes.
You thought that looked good, your thirteen year old self.

And now I identify people with hair similar to yours.
And smile to myself once in a while.
You’ve grown your hair long to annoy your mother.
Am I allowed to ruffle it now? Oh, I know.

~~

Your voice, the childish sound
They were music to my ears, did you ever realize that?
You would sing my favorite songs to me
And I would lose myself in them.

And now, your voice has cracked
I laughed when you talked over the phone
And then those calls became rarer still.
Did I ask you to stop? Oh, I know.

~~

Our fights, they were intense.
Once, you told me you loved me, remember?
And I told you I was afraid, but I loved you too.
We talked for hours in the dark after that.

And now you change your girls like the weather.
You would tell me about them, and I would support you
You have stopped telling me about them now
Did I initiate our last fight? Oh, I know.

~~

The way I remember you, is clear in my head
The truth in them is as alive as the dead
Have I glorified you? Yes.
But that’s the least I could do.
To remember you right, I have to feed myself these lies
To keep the pieces intact, till my love for you dies.

~~~

The other day I woke up from a bittersweet dream, and wrote this at five in the morning. And I’m not a morning person.

On a related note, I think I’m finally getting the hang of writing poetry. It’s kind of like what a friend of mine said to me, “I pick up a pen and start thinking in verse.’ (Go read her at: http://rhapsodiesofmymind.wordpress.com/)


Demystifying an Undergrad Psychology course

images (11)The Secret Life of a Psychology Undergrad

  1. You might think we read your mind. But no, we don’t. (Turns out you don’t have that many thoughts, eh?)
  2. Psychology is all about Freud. Oh, how I wish! But, sadly it is not. We spend years getting introduced to Freud, yes. But is that all we study? No way!
  3. We can read your future. Actually, we don’t even know if we will get to major in Psychology, or if we want to.
  4. We don’t have much to study. Not as much as the natural sciences, anyway. Have you ever said, ‘Women! Noone can ever understand them?’ Well, yeah. Turns out, neither can we understand men, or even cockroaches for that matter.
  5. It’s all fluke, anyway.  There are shocking experiments and results about the human behaviour, making you wonder about humans and their sanity. Ever heard of the Lucifer Effect?
  6. It’s not real. Well, hard luck! It is all real. (Or as real as human thoughts, emotions and behaviour are, anyway.) The methods may not be accurate, but they are the best there is in any behavioural or social science. You can even choose statistics as a tool. Foolproof enough?
  7. It’s just arm chair philosophy. You’ll be surprised to know that most of us don’t realize where it turns from philosophy to biology and back. We study the brain, the hormones, evolution, as much as we study existentialism.  Cognitive Neuroscience? Evolutionary basis of love? We know all about it!
  8. What? Behavioural Economics? I thought economics was a quantitative subject? Clearly you haven’t studied Econ either. Ever heard of Keynes? We borrow and lend to many different subjects, including Economics, Linguistics, Biology, Life Sciences, and of course, Sociology, Anthropology and all those subjects you haven’t even probably heard of.tumblr_mloesj1eg91qg9t3eo1_1280
  9. So emotions is surely all you study? Did you not hear me? We study behaviour, as a response to emotive, cognitive, cultural, social, and biological process. If I had to study aggression, I’d say it is a function of anger, frustration, socialization, what the culture thinks is acceptable, and the underlying  neural, hormonal and genetic influences.
  10. Abnormal behaviour? Oh, yes! We all love abnormal psychology. We hear the sympotoms of schizophrenia and think, Hey! I am schizophrenic! We love categorizing people disorder-wise. Helps us memorize them.  It’s called chunking. (Yes, we have a word for it.) But we also study normal behaviour.download (6)
  11. Is it just therapy? Is biology only medicine?tumblr_msxsg6VNkL1qjywvlo1_1280
  12. So it is fun and easy? Sadly, not always. We work for years and years and years, but sometimes, you can’t even tell the difference between Erikson and Freud. And then there are those people, you have it so easy! Have you ever tried to memorize a hundred different research studies? A hundred different names? A hundred different years? It’s as much fun as staying up all night and still not knowing if you’d pass or no. Just about the same as other subjects, you think?

How to recognize a psychology undergrad:stress-cartoon

  • Uses words like disposition, cognition, traits, attribution, aggression, etc. in daily speech.
  •  Loves analyzing people and intimidating them with rhetorics  like You know what Freud would have to say about it, right?
  •   Inferring attributions to everything you say or do.
  •   What if she actually does have depression? Is something you hear us say, if someone behaves oddly for more than two months.
  •   Crack DSM-V related jokes. Every day.
  •  Makes references to Freud, Pavlov or Skinner. Alternately, refers to their theories.
  •  Debates actively (either with others or internally) whether certain behaviours are inborn or learnt.
  •   Uses statistics to explain why you are wrong and how you are wrong. Also, gives explanations as to why you must have inferred it that way.
  • Checks every piece of literature, music and art for its psychological soundness, and gets annoyed when they don’t match.
  • Divides every behaviour in terms of its cognition, emotion and possible biological factors.
  • Backs every statement with a theory, and a consequent research.
  • May say ‘I think I am stuck at security needs. My dad should give me more pocket money so that I can reach self actualization faster.’tumblr_msn8pdYPAs1ql2603o1_500 d

At That Moment… I Swear We Were Infinite

Yes, the only reason I read The Perks of Being A Wallflower, is because Emma Watson starred in the movie adaptation of the book. It is also true that the fragrance of its pages hasn’t faded from my fingers. It is still a very easy book to fall in love with.

It surely is one of those books that might have a very new meaning the next time you read it. Add on to it the fact that Charlie is very real – loves to read and every new read is a favourite, listens to records of lesser known bands and artists, finding his own identity- the book can be called a cult, creating a class of its own.

The Perks of being a Wallflower, is about a fifteen year old boy named Charlie, who feels left out and in high school, and why not! His friend shot himself the previous year and nobody knows why, his favourite person in the world dies trying to buy a present for him, one for Christmas, and one for Christmas eve-his birthday. His sister is in an abusive relationship, his parents had abusive and struggling parents, the girl he thinks he loves is not only his best friend, but also has asked him to stop thinking of him that way. His other best friend is forced to be in a closet relationship, for the fear of his boyfriend’s parents. He’s also trying to ‘participate’, but feels all weird and bad memories, which he doesn’t remember, haunt him.

But then again, his advanced English teacher Bill gives him books to read and review for himself and gives him secret grades, which do keep improving (on the report card, he always got straight A’s). His brother plays football at UPenn, which has put up a very good team, and he might get to play pro. His parents and understanding and take care of him well enough. His friends also love him and care for him.

The characters in this book make mistakes, stand up to it and are real. They fall in love and out of love. The form of the entire novel is epistolary, and is written to an unknown friend and the spatial setting is unknown. The entire thing makes it universal and immensely relatable.

Of high-school, holidays and friendships; of family, grandparents, cookies and candies; of sex, drugs, alcohol and smoking; of music, literature, football and movies; of proms, homecomings and parties; of driving around town in the night-lights, through tunnels, listening to music; of depression and endless laughter; of abusive relationships and love-the book talks of coming-of-age and adolescent feelings, which is why I rate it 7.8/10. (I don’t really like the style, however true it stays to Charlie’s character.)

(A Review to The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.)